Are you sure you want to remove Bla Bla as your friend?

I have recently defriended, been defriended by and know someone who has defriended someone on Facebook... What is our morbid fascination with this social networking act of rejection?

Is this just another way social networking has begun to imitate, and essentially, replace real life? We’re no longer required to confront the offender or explain our motives, a simple click on the "Remove Friend" button will suffice. Isn't it wonderful that certain friendships can so easily be removed and eliminated?

If you defriend someone, do you also stop seeing them? Stop taking their calls? Stop socialising with them? Or do these things not count on the friendship totem pole?... What does defriending on Facebook actually mean and what impact does it have on the friendship in the real world?

I know people who have defriended and refriended so many times I find it inconceivable to take them seriously anymore. These people exist in a relationship in which “defriending” can be translated as “yeah, I’m not all that happy with you” and refriending means “oh ok, we’ve explained away that tiff.” I struggle to understand a friendship that can be so easily forgotten and then remembered. I find myelf wondering whether the nature of modern communication is mutating the concept of “friendship” into something far more casual, more transient, than it has been in the past.

We’re friends with people on Facebook we don’t really give a damn about. We share more with strangers over Skype conversations that we would ever dream of sharing with people who actually feature in our lives. We confess feelings on Twitter that are so deep we shudder at the thought of admitting them to our closest friends.

I don’t, for one minute, believe that solid relationships can’t originate and develop in this way. I have become aware, however, that relationships built with the internet mimicing a solid foundation can appear sturdier than they are and often the trust that is such a vital ingredient in a friendship, is just a façade.

So the moral of this weeks story kids: Relationships that are easily built, are easily eliminated.

Happy new year!

Usually, I’m a New Years Resolutions kinda gal. As I’ve recited verbatim in countless job interviews: “I’m goal oriented. Give me a number and I’ll hit it.” I actually enjoy the tedious tradition of reviewing last years resolutions and performing a mental balance sheet of my life according to accomplishments and failures. I like to set ambitious but realistic resolutions and then go about bettering myself by working through them. At the end of the year, I like to look back and see that my resolutions have moved me closer to who I want to be in my life.

I’m ashamed to say that this year I’m left resolution-less. The best I’ve been able to come up with so far is: I’ll lose 6kgs and start running again. Really?! So much for the overall betterment of character. There are still so many things about myself that I’d like to work on but much like an old house it seems that as soon as I get the flooring into a semi-decent state, the electrical works go to shit and then the mould in the kitchen turns that dangerous black colour and so on.

As I near the end of my time in Thailand I’m left in a haze of something that feels a bit like jetlag. I feel as though the train has suddenly pulled off and I’m struggling with vertigo I can’t seem to shake. I’m looking forward to the new challenges 2011 will undoubtedly bring but my life is so up in the air at the minute, how can I possibly set resolutions I hope to achieve? I’ve no idea what the year that marks my 3^rd decade holds for me! For my poor Cancerian soul, this is a challenge of epic proportions. My fate, my destiny, my path lies entirely in the hands of others. Oh the struggle, oh the drama!

Hmm… Perhaps this leads me to the perfect resolution: Learn to be comfortable living in the moment and not being able to map out a flow chart detailing every possible, probable and plausible outcome that may stem from the current situation. Learn to be ok with not knowing. Eeek! I can’t think of anything more terrifying! This is challenging the very core of my character. Resolution material? Absolutely! Ambitious? Certainly. Realistic? I’ll have to get back to you.