Heaven in Bangkok

This weekend brought with it Asahna Bucha Day and Wan Khao Phunsa which, translated, means a 4-day weekend. I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster lately and decided that a long weekend is the perfect excuse for some self-spoiling.

I love Sukhumvit Soi 11. It's home to many of my favourite pre-drinks and party places in Bangkok: Cheap Charlies, Nest, Aussie Bar, Old German Beer House, Vicenza, Bed Supperclub... There's always something going on on Soi 11. Jump off the BTS at Nana, avoid the suspicious stares and mumblings, walk down the soi a short way and you're bound to bump into someone you know doing something awesome. My friends and I have spent many nights pub crawling up and down Soi 11 and still, I just can't get enough of it. Now I've a new favourite to add to my list of reasons to love Soi 11: Hapa Spa.

Being coated entirely in chocolate is, I have learned, an unworldly experience. I booked myself in for the "Unwind Delight Package", one of many packages available. If packages aren't your thing, there are also individual treatments to choose from. My chosen indulgence had me enjoying the sinful delights of an organic body scrub, chocolate body wrap, head massage and aromatherapy body massage. I walked out 3 hours later with a goofy smile on my face, feeling ready to climb off the rollercoaster and resume life in this newfound space of inner peace and serenity.

Upon arrival, you are shown to your own dimly lit, scented room with attached shower. There's no moving between rooms for different treatments, something I found to make a remarkable difference to the entire experience. Tranquil music plays in the background while you make yourself comfortable and prepare for your pampering session. As I had different treatments, I showered between treatments and while I did, therapists prepared the room for the next treatment. The whole encounter was managed with incredible professionalism and efficiency while being a luxuriously relaxing experience for me.

I will definitely me back... Several times. I highly recommend a trip to Hapa Spa to anyone in Bangkok, we all need a bit of an escape from this crazy city from time to time and I cannot think of a better place for a bit of Bangkok deliverance.

Basic Rules of Treadmilling

When I approached the treadmill at the gym tonight I was struck by a very tall, lanky guy on a treadmill one down from mine. Living in Thailand will do that to you... Tall people seem odd and out of place and it takes you a minute to figure out why, exactly, you can't draw your eyes away. I digress... He was running hard, even for someone with such diabolically long legs, and I was impressed. Confession: I always weigh up the competition as I near the treadmill section... Tell me I'm not alone!

A little bit after I'd started my run, he leaned on the sidebars, picked himself up off the treadmill band and put his feet on the treadplate either side of the moving band. He did some strange stretching exercises while the treadmill continued to run at its supersonic pace. Next thing, he picked himself back up and while holding himself above the moving treadmill band, knees bent and head lowered so that his chin was almost touching his knees, started to run in midair. When he felt he'd reached the correct pace, he lowered himself back onto the treadmill and continued with his run as though this was all perfectly normal. I coughed and spluttered so much I had to stop my treadmill while I caught my breath because I was laughing so hard! He just looked so hilarious! This long, lanky man, holding himself in midair while his legs made strange circular motions. I can't get the picture out of my head!

This led me to start thinking that there should be rules for running on treadmills in gym, if only to protect fellow runners from injury sustained due to manic laughter.
Here's my list, it may grow as I spend more and more time running on the road to nowhere:

1. Always wear proper attire on a treadmill. By proper attire I mean suitable exercise wear. How can it possibly be comfortable running in jeans? Just thinking of the chafing makes me cringe.

2. Running shoes are of supreme importance. Never run in sandals, high heels and the like. Not only will it have severely adverse effects on your ankles, it also makes you look really stupid.

3. Always wipe the treadmill down when you're done. There's nothing worse than climbing onto a treadmill and having to maneuver around someone elses sweat puddles.

4. Never make or receive phonecalls while on the treadmill, it's incredibly annoying for those around you. I mean, for pity sake! Who brings a mobile phone onto a treadmill anyway?! I'm fairly sure whatever it is can wait until you retreat into the change rooms after your run.

5. Like urinals, the skip one rule applies. Always skip a treadmill between runners until there are no more treadmills left and you have no other option but to take one between two people.

6. Never try start up a conversation with the person on the treadmill next to you. Particularly if they happen to be listening to an iPod. We all just want to be left alone to imagine we're running along beaches, mountain trails, park paths etc. As my very kind flatmate has just pointed out, if you're talking, you're not running fast enough.

That's it for now. I've no doubt that there will be more twilight zone moments in California Wow that will strike me as worthy of a Treadmill Rule.

Bangkok: Bizarre Human Social Experiment

Today a friend of mine mentioned something interesting. He said that attractive people develop fewer social skills while growing up because, as children, there is less need for them to fight for what they want. People are more inclined to give in to an attractive child than an unattractive one, or a mildly attractive one. Scrounging around in the recesses of my brain where the spiderwebs live, I do recall learning something to this effect in a uni psychology class. This led me to wonder whether said skills learned as a child could be unlearned in adulthood if one were suddenly thrust into a world where you become the cute kid in class...

Men who are considered mildly attractive (I might kiss him if he were the last person in a club on a Saturday night and I'd been hitting the vodka shots) and even those considered downright vile (I wouldn't touch him with a 2 meter pole after a bottle of tequila in the dead of night during a power failure) all move up a notch on the scale of social standing the minute they land in Bangkok.

Bagging a farang man is considered top prize for many Thai girls. Many of them have grown up in tough circumstances and have learned that a farang man who can provide money and stability is the way out. They travel from Isaan and the rural areas of Thailand to Bangkok with this as their goal.

Cue the farang man.

But the competition is hot. Girls in this city are beautiful and more than ready to put on the charm for a farang man. So they ooh and aah over these men who, for the most part, haven't enjoyed the same attentions in their home countries. Men are surprised that getting a girl can be so easy. More than one of my male friends here have remarked how difficult the dating game is at home while hooking up with a Thai girl eliminates the need for work in the initial stages of the relationship.
With the increased attention that's thrown at them, comes the enlarged ego and inevitably, a certain sense of entitlement and the attitude that any woman who is the recipient of their attention should consider herself very lucky indeed.

So I ask you... Can social skills learned as a child be unlearned in adulthood if one were suddenly thrust into a world where you become the cute kid in class... Or the eligible man in the room?...

My most recent experience with this was at 5am on a Sunday morning in a taxi on the way home from a night out...
A guy I'd recently met and who seemed sweet enough said something along the lines of he and I not being able to hook up because we know too many of the same people. Really?... Really?...

Allow me to elaborate. I'd been out with friends and after hours of parting we'd decided to hit Ko San Road for The Falafel. (I capitalise intentionally. If you've ever had a Ko San Road Falafel between the hours of 11pm and 3am, you will understand why). He was with friends on Ko San and so we met up and he joined my friends and I at Burger King because, much to our horror, The Falafel Lady was closed. So after chomping down Whopper meals we all shared a taxi home. As he and I live closest together and furthest from Ko San, we were the last two in the car. I think his blow to my dreams of marrying him and having his babies was slurred out somewhere between his putting his hand on my leg and trying to look meaningfully into my eyes despite the obvious trouble he was having stringing sentences together.

Let me make this clear: At no point was I even vaguely interested in him as more than someone who seemed sweet. Being a traveler in a foreign country, I'm always open to the possibility of meeting new people and making new friends. In retrospect it does seem fitting that being a farang man in Bangkok he would think that I was chomping at the bit to get him into bed. Because I am a woman, after all, and who could resist that irresistible charm. Oh come on! Really?!...

At home, I would have considered this insulting and outrageously audacious but here, I'm coming to expect this kind of behaviour.
Another note in the Bizarre Human Social Experiment we like to call Bangkok.

Introducing Me

So after what feels like years of contemplation on this whole "blogging" thing, I've decided to join the millions of people who sit in darkened rooms and spew words into cyberspace with the vague hope that someone will (or will not, depending on the subject matter I suppose) read it. I'm no different except for the fact that the room I'm currently sitting in is lit by uber fluorescent lighting.

For this blog to mean anything, you'll need to know a bit about me. I'm dubious to put down too much so will try to keep my overshare habit under control.
I'm a 29 year old woman who, quite recently, deserted her comfortable life at home for a life of adventure, new experiences and cultural diversity in Thailand. I now find myself living and working in Bangkok. "City of Angels" apparently but I've yet to gain an understanding of the nickname. I'm here indefinitely, although I can't see myself sticking around for years and years as some do when they arrive and get stuck in Bangkok.


With Monsoon season upon us I've no doubt that the next few months will be interesting... At the very least...